Never Sarcastic: Archive

4 tags

Feb 29th

2 notes

6 tags

Trufax

Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because.  Sex isn't for recreation.
Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN.  You can buy condoms by the dozens.  Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure."  Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours.  Here, try these.  They have ribs on them.  And this one glows in the dark!!  LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!  
Government: But seriously, you're a man.  You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.

Feb 29th

37,664 notes

4 tags

Feb 28th

26,234 notes

2 tags

“When you took your oath of office, you placed your hand on the Bible and swore...”

– Jamie Raskin - who is now a senator in Maryland and served as floor manager of the recently passed bill allowing same sex marriage. (via abaldwin360) BOOM. (via tehblackbirdisincognito) EFFING A, MAN. THIS. (via spastasmagoria)

Feb 28th

1,731 notes

1 tag

Feb 28th

7,993 notes

5 tags

“Luckily, Jensen Ackles can play the same scene over and over, grappling with the...”

– Phil Dyess-Nugent- AV CLUB (via ludetwodudeswithfood)

Feb 28th

797 notes

Feb 28th

31 notes

4 tags

moseisleywelcomingcommittee: So after watching HIMYM last night, I did some reading of an old interview with one of the creators/writers, old being from this past July :) This quote kind of got to me thinking. By the end of Season 7, Ted will wear suits and Barney’s hair will be spiky and messy. Does that mean Ted is going to be a slut like Barney or does that mean Ted is going to be this...

Feb 28th

7 notes

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Feb 28th

1,825 notes

9 tags

Feb 28th

104 notes

6 tags

Feb 28th

4,266 notes

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Feb 28th

4 notes

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Feb 28th

47,710 notes

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Feb 28th

3,264 notes

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Feb 28th

1,091 notes

2 tags

Watch

alaskan-bullw0rm: oooowah: do-you-have-a-flag: suddenlyfalling: Behind the Scenes: Star Trek 2, feat. Benedict Cumberbatch and Zachary Quinto’s fight scenes. ASDGHDSGJSDGJLGKJGHHGADIRUHKJGHNSKMNVKJSNUWANVSKDJFNWRJKSCF;KVGHA;DGJKFGHVLANVGJKDHLVAKDUGNVAKLUFV Piss on me oh my god (Can I punch the voiceover guy in the face?)

Feb 28th

6,484 notes

1 tag

sherlock may not be on the side of the angels but...

fairgroundsoldier: #Okay so that joke is totally worth this whole casting ordeal

Feb 28th

541 notes

5 tags

Lucy Liu To Play Watson In CBS’ Modern Sherlock...

balphesian: fornax: brodinsons: The name is Watson, Joan Watson. Lucy Liu is set to play Sherlock Holmes’ sidekick in CBS’ drama pilot Elementary, whose tweaks to Arthur Connan Doyle’s classic include switching Watson’s gender to female. The project, written by Robert Doherty, is set in present day and stars Jonny Lee Miller as eccentric Brit Sherlock Holmes, a former consultant to Scotland...

Feb 28th

472 notes

1 tag

Scoop: Lucy Liu Cast as Watson in CBS' Modern Day... →

heathyr: martinfreemans: NO FUCKING WAY It’s like hollywood execs are trying to break our brains.

Feb 28th

1,212 notes

3 tags

“The internet’s not broken. So then why are there so many attempts to regulate...”

– Jeff Jarvis (via wilwheaton)

Feb 28th

667 notes

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Feb 27th

1,016 notes

15 tags

Giancarlo Esposito To Co-Star In JJ Abrams/Eric... →

It’s a venn diagram of Star Trek, Supernatural, and Breaking Bad. I am…speechless with anticipation.

Feb 27th

21 notes

4 tags

Feb 27th

610 notes

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“If you let people’s perception of you dictate your behavior, you will never grow...”

– Mr. Feeny, Boy Meets World (via safetyscissorssuck)

Feb 27th

620 notes

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Feb 27th

2 notes

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Feb 27th

14 notes

7 tags

Watch

funnyordie: Women’s Health Experts Speak Out with Nick Offerman, Tim Meadows and Judd Nelson Male experts agree: No one knows more about women’s issues like birth control than middle-aged men and the Republican party. Reblogging for Nick Offerman saying “squirter” and his giggle at the end. Also because this is excellent.

Feb 27th

135 notes

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Feb 27th

130 notes

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Feb 27th

2,238 notes

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Feb 27th

1,827 notes

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arollingstone asked: (Jim Rash also played the...

ispyafamousface: Actually, no, he didn’t. The guy who played the principal on Phil of the Future is JP Manoux. They certainly do look alike though! JP Manoux could get into all sorts of Oscars after-parties tonight if he wanted to.

Feb 27th

50 notes

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Feb 27th

841 notes

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Feb 27th

868 notes

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“I love animation because in the world of animation, you can be anything you...”

– CHRIS ROCK, introducing the Best Animated Film Oscar. (via inothernews) The fact that a fat woman being a princess is so unbelievable to the Academy says a lot. Also, this quote is right on point. (via bigfatfeminist)

Feb 27th

11,132 notes

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Feb 27th

13,475 notes

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“I don’t even like Andrea all that much (again, she’s been written in...”

– Alan Sepinwall nails the reason why Andrea became my favorite character in tonight’s episode of The Walking Dead. (via Review: The Walking Dead - 18 Miles Out: Choose life? - HitFix.com)

Feb 27th

7 notes

2 tags