Given the odds of making it as a comedian, I am amazed at how little effort so many comedians make, while complaining bitterly about their lack of breaks. I mean, you should be thinking like an olympic athlete but you think like dorito-eating high school brats, doing nothign and expecting everything. Of course I’m not talking about YOU, whoever is reading this. I’m talking about YOU, over there. Yeah.

Every time I run, I reach about fifty points in my run where I want to quit. I reach about 100 points where I am SURE I’m going to quit. But I keep going and when I finish, I’ve just proven to myself that I can survive self doubt and exhaustioin. This is an invaluable tool for me as a comedian, writer and producer. Everything I do is helped by exercize. Even if I can’t spell it right.

One other thing, I NEVER listen to music when I run. This is my reason: When I get to those points, going up a horrible hill, running staright into a cold wind, I have to reach somewhere inside myself to get through it. If I have an ipod suplying me with “Eye of the Tiger” or some wonderful Cher song, then that gets me through. That’s no good to me because next time I’m on a stage getting tired, or next time I’m shooting number 9 of 20 shows or next time I just want to fucking eat a bag of poison because I get sick of my life, I’d rather have whatever tool I built inside myself on that hill, then have to listen to cher every time.

Does that make any sense?

Now, I’m sure a lot of you young folks are thinking, “Fuck you, CK , Doug Stanhope does drugs and he is cool.” Well, you’e right. you should do drugs. But this works for me.