this was on the front page of the newspaper i want to throw up
Oh my god. ‘men will actually respect women more if they see women showing compassion to them’. If you want women to show you compassion, don’t fucking rape them.
If you need me I’ll be in the angry-dome.
You know, the first time I stab you in the face, it’s just me getting carried away. JESUS, HAVE SOME COMPASSION. You’re not DEAD or anything! It’s just a social misbehavior, GODDDDDDDDD.
And they wonder why we cheer when we hear about women beheading or otherwise disposing of their rapists. Why? Because society has decided we don’t deserve justice or compassion. Instead they worry about the poor rapists. Lord help me if I ever hear a dude say this in person because I may very well go after him with a fucking weapon.
I’m so angry right now fuck everything
i can’t even read the full article too enraged and yelling at my screen
I am so angry I can hear the blood rushing in my ears
idek why im reblobbing this because i am so fucking mad i cant even deal
W-O-W. Just. WOW. And it was written by a woman, too!
Facebook removes photos of women breastfeeding, but rape videos seem to last for days. These women are sick of it
“On Facebook, hating a religious or ethnic minority gets you banned, but hating half of humanity gets you Likes.”
Some men who want to compliment random women on the street are genuinely good guys who just don’t understand why their comments might be unwelcome. Some men who want to compliment random women on the street are creepy predators. Most are somewhere in between, and guess what? I don’t know you, I don’t know your life, and I have no idea if you’re going to leave it at “Hey, you look good in that dress!” or follow it up with “But you’d look better without it! Har har! C’mon, where’re you going? I know you heard me! Fucking cunt, nobody wants your fat ass anyway, bitch.”
When you compliment a random woman who doesn’t know you, no matter how nice you are about it, there’s a good chance she’s going to freak out internally because for all she knows, you could be that latter type. And I get that it’s really unfair that women would just assume that about you. I get that it sucks that sometimes, expressing totally reasonable opinions like “hey you’re hot” will make women terrified of you or furious at you. That’s not fair.
But if you’re going to lay the blame for that somewhere, for fuck’s sake, don’t blame the woman. Blame all the guys who have called her a bitch and a cunt for ignoring their advances. Blame all the guys who may have harassed, abused, or assaulted her in the past. Blame all the people who may never do such a thing themselves, but who were quick to blame her and tell her to just get over it. Blame the fact that if she stops and talks to you and then something bad happens, people will blame her for stopping and talking to you.
If guys were as mad about rape as they are duck face we wouldn’t have a rape culture problem.
If owning a gun and knowing how to use it worked, the military would be the safest place for a woman. It’s not.
If women covering up their bodies worked, Afghanistan would have a lower rate of sexual assault than Polynesia. It doesn’t.
If not drinking alcohol worked, children would not be raped. They are.
If your advice to a woman to avoid rape is to be the most modestly dressed, soberest and first to go home, you may as well add “so the rapist will choose someone else”.
If your response to hearing a woman has been raped is “she didn’t have to go to that bar/nightclub/party” you are saying that you want bars, nightclubs and parties to have no women in them. Unless you want the women to show up, but wear kaftans and drink orange juice. Good luck selling either of those options to your friends.
Or you could just be honest and say that you don’t want less rape, you want (even) less prosecution of rapists.
It’s happening again. When will it end?
So here’s the real reason that rape jokes are troubled territory -
Because rape victims say so.
They get to say that. They get to feel that way. On this, they get to set the cultural rules.
It’s not about right or wrong, or logic versus emotion, or arguments of over sensitivity or hypocrisy - you have the free speech to make whatever jokes you want or talk about rape in whatever way you feel is illuminating. But they get to be upset about it. And call you on it. And be hurt by it.
But consider this:
You get to not be a rape victim.
They, however, are not afforded that luxury. Ever again.
Chuck Wendig (via vickiexz)
#some real talk
Enquiring minds are eager to know what the heck befell a young man who was allegedly sexually assaulted by a group of women in downtown Toronto.
**Trigger Warning: Rape culture, victim blaming - exercise caution before clicking the link or reading further**
After a man - who is alternately referred to as a teenager - in Toronto reported to the police that he had been the victim of a sexual assault at the hands of four women in their thirties, Rosie DiManno thought it would be a good idea to pen one of the most disgusting, victim-blaming, pathetic excuse for an article I have ever had the misfortune of reading. DiManno inexplicably thought it was appropriate to write about a sexual assault using the following phrases:
“Of course, one man’s sexual assault is another man’s sexual fantasy come true.”
Having a fantasy of multiple simultaneous partners is not an invitation to be raped.
Mustn’t be seen to make light of an alleged sexual crime simply because the victim is a male…snickering quotient.”
Excuse me, but I simply don’t see the “snickering quotient” of someone being outnumbered, overpowered, and sexually assaulted. I doubt the millions of victims of sexual assault - victims of all genders - see that either.
“Sexual assault, you say? Lucky guy others say, nudge-nudge, a fivesome and didn’t even have to pay for it.”
Those people are despicable human beings, they are wrong, and they and their boss should probably be promptly fired from the Toronto Star.
“They could be sex molls or sex maulers.”
The fact that they were reported as perpetrators of a sexual assault makes them criminals, actually. What journalism program taught DiManno or any of her superiors that this was okay?
“Some “assaults’’ are merely unwanted touching, annoying for an adult woman but should be slapped down when they occur rather than directed to police.”
This teenager was offered a ride home by these women, and taken instead to an abandoned parking lot and assaulted. If this is something the police should ignore, I’m not sure what their role is in society.
Wanted: Bad girls in black minidresses and stilettos, approach with caution.
Yes, the sexual predators in their thirties are just “girls,” as well as an excellent punchline, according to the Toronto Star.
This isn’t DiManno’s first horrifying and utterly hamfisted attempt at being clever. In January, she came under fire for her disgusting coverage of another sexual assault, and the Star immediately came to her defense. As a result, another victim of sexual assault has been publicly mocked, mere weeks after teenage rape victim Rehteah Parsons tragically took her life after being mocked by her peers.
Please sign the petition to have Rosie DiManno fired. This is reprehensible, unacceptable, and cannot be allowed to continue.
(Thank you to reader verolynne for bringing this to my attention.)
What kind of world do we live in when young men are so proud of violating unconscious girls that they pass proof around to their friends? It’s the same kind of world in which being labeled a slut comes with such torturous social repercussions that suicide is preferable to enduring them. As a woman named Sara Erdmann so aptly tweeted to me, “I will never understand why it is more shameful to be raped than to be a rapist.”
And yet it is: so much so that young men seem to think there’s nothing wrong with—and maybe something hilarious about—sharing pictures of themselves raping young women. And why not? Their friends will defend them, as they did in Steubenville, tweeting that the young woman was “asking for it” and that the boys were being unfairly targeted.
Women and girls are the ones expected to carry the shame of the sexual crimes perpetrated against them. And that shame is a tremendous load to bear, because once you’re labeled a slut, empathy and compassion go out the window. The word is more than a slur—it’s a designation.
get on his level
Raffi’s so perfect
On Sunday, Rehtaeh Parsons’ family took her off life support.
Rehtaeh Parsons hanged herself in her bathroom four days before that, because Rehtaeah Parsons was gang-raped by four boys a year ago.
They took pictures.
It took weeks for the police to even talk to them.
The atrocity they committed was dismissed — lack of evidence, they couldn’t prove who’d taken the picture.
The people in Rehtaeh’s school called her a slut. They passed her phone number around. They asked her if she’d have sex with them. They bullied, shunned, and browbeat her to death.
Her mother has a memorial page for her on Facebook and I can’t stop looking at the pictures and pictures of her as a child. Rehtaeh with a little dog. Rehtaeh’s school portrait. Rehtaeh and her family. Rehtaeh and her friends. Selfies she took. Pages and pages and pages of them, and I can’t stop looking, and I can’t shake it.
I didn’t know her. I don’t know her. But I know girls like her. I know boys like the ones that did this to her. We all do.
People were so horrified at Steubenville like it was some isolated incident, like it was on a different level than all the other rapes that happen every day, every hour, every minute. Like Steubenville was the limit of human atrocity, an outlier, something everyone shook their heads at and wondered “How?” and thought “That could never happen to my daughter.” Not me. Not here.
It happens here. It happens wherever you are, right now. It happens every two minutes in the US. One out of five. One out of four. One out of six. One out of three. One billion, worldwide, every year.
Steubenville is not an isolated incident. What happened to Jane Doe and Rehtaeh Parsons is not an isolated incident. It doesn’t happen just to pretty white girls with long hair; it doesn’t just happen to the people we are most comfortable feeling compassion for.
I’m sorry, Rehtaeh. I’m sorry that so many people failed you. I’m sorry that we are all complicit in a culture that shames and silences and browbeats victims literally to death. We created this. We built it.
I want to tear it apart with my teeth.
#safetytipsforladies: A hashtag about how tired women are of being told to do stupid, ineffective, unrealistic things to avoid being raped.
“try becoming Medusa, or if that is too difficult, a basilisk.”
I found too many things about people — teens especially — only realizing that not saying no does not equal a yes once they’re told.
So I made a thing.
I’m so sorry if I did something wrong, I’m not 110% sure what I’m doing, so I’m almost scared to post this, but…
Sign here, if you’re interested.
Signed and passed it on to FB and Twitter. This is a cause worth spreading about.
Reform for sex education is BIG DEAL and that includes teaching people what consent is and means!
Over a thousand reblogs and only 675 signatures….
SIGNED. Do it.
What I do want to tell you is that you need to stop using the “wives, sisters, daughters” argument when you are talking to people defending the Steubenville rapists. Or any rapists. Or anyone who commits any kind of crime, violent or otherwise, against a woman.
In case you’re unfamiliar with this line of rhetoric, it’s the one that goes like this:
You should stop defending the rapists and start caring about the victim. Imagine if she was your sister, or your daughter, or your wife. Imagine how badly you would feel if this happened to a woman that you cared about.
Framing the issue this way for rape apologists can seem useful. I totally get that. It feels like you’re humanizing the victim and making the event more relatable, more sympathetic to the person you’re arguing with.
You know what, though? Saying these things is not helpful; in fact, it’s not even helping to humanize the victim. What you are actually doing is perpetuating rape culture by advancing the idea that a woman is only valuable in so much as she is loved or valued by a man.
The Steubenville rape victim was certainly someone’s daughter. She may have been someone’s sister. Someday she might even be someone’s wife. But these are not the reasons why raping her was wrong. This rape, and any rape, was wrong because women are people. Women are people, rape is wrong, and no one should ever be raped. End of story.
I Am Not Your Wife, Sister or Daughter. I Am A Person. (via jlmillered)
Not to mention the fact that this exact ‘imagine she was your daughter’ argument was made to the rapists during the fucking rape:
In one moment from the video, behind the maniacal laughter, another boy can be heard off-screen: “That’s, like, rape. It is rape. They raped her.” You can hear the realization dawning in his voice. A few minutes later, the same voice asks, “But what if that was your daughter?” …
Nodianos’ giggled response to the question posed? “If that was my daughter, I wouldn’t care. I’d just let her be dead.”
Steubenville High School football coach Reno Saccoccia not only knew that two of his players had sexually assaulted a teen-age girl during a booze-fueled night last August, he also tried to shield his athletes from prosecution, evidence presented during last week’s trial of the two players suggests.
Saccoccia, who has won three state championships and has been inducted into the Ohio Coaches Hall of Fame, is just one of the Steubenville coaches, parents and students who could face criminal charges after a grand jury reviews evidence from the case next month.
Ohio Attorney General Mike DeWine announced on Sunday that he would convene a grand jury on April 15 to determine if criminal charges should be filed against coaches, parents and football players who failed to report shared photos of the assault on social media, failed to report the incident or attempted to cover it up.
“You cannot bring finality to this without the convening of a grand jury,” DeWine said on Sunday, shortly after a judge pronounced “Big Red” quarterback Trent Mays, 17, and receiver Ma’Lik Richmond guilty in the horrific rape of a girl from a nearby West Virginia community. “We have 16 witnesses who would not talk to us.”
The New York Daily News, “Steubenville High School Football Coach Knew Athletes Raped Girl, 16, and Tried to Shield Them From Prosecution” (via inothernews)
As long as adults continue to cover up the violence against women and girls boys commit, boys will continue to act in this despicable manner. The adults need to be held accountable for their actions. The cover up is criminal behavior.