A woman saying yes to a date with a man is literally insane, and ill-advised, and the whole species’ existence counts on them doing it. I don’t know how women still go out with guys when you consider that there’s no greater threat to women than men. We’re the number one threat to women! Globally and historically, we’re the number one cause of injury and mayhem to women, we’re the worst thing that ever happens to them. If you’re a guy, try to imagine that you could only date a half-bear, half-lion, like, “Ugh, I hope this one’s nice.

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mehalicka:

this is my favorite image on the internet right now

(via afternoonsnoozebutton)

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(via moseisleywelcomingcommittee)

More on this story as it develops…

(via ryeisenberg)

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awesomepeoplehangingouttogether:

Louis CK & Marc Maron

(via comedycentral)

laughingsquid:

Evolution of Louis C.K., Compilation of Comedian’s Standup Career

Given the odds of making it as a comedian, I am amazed at how little effort so many comedians make, while complaining bitterly about their lack of breaks. I mean, you should be thinking like an olympic athlete but you think like dorito-eating high school brats, doing nothign and expecting everything. Of course I’m not talking about YOU, whoever is reading this. I’m talking about YOU, over there. Yeah.

Every time I run, I reach about fifty points in my run where I want to quit. I reach about 100 points where I am SURE I’m going to quit. But I keep going and when I finish, I’ve just proven to myself that I can survive self doubt and exhaustioin. This is an invaluable tool for me as a comedian, writer and producer. Everything I do is helped by exercize. Even if I can’t spell it right.

One other thing, I NEVER listen to music when I run. This is my reason: When I get to those points, going up a horrible hill, running staright into a cold wind, I have to reach somewhere inside myself to get through it. If I have an ipod suplying me with “Eye of the Tiger” or some wonderful Cher song, then that gets me through. That’s no good to me because next time I’m on a stage getting tired, or next time I’m shooting number 9 of 20 shows or next time I just want to fucking eat a bag of poison because I get sick of my life, I’d rather have whatever tool I built inside myself on that hill, then have to listen to cher every time.

Does that make any sense?

Now, I’m sure a lot of you young folks are thinking, “Fuck you, CK , Doug Stanhope does drugs and he is cool.” Well, you’e right. you should do drugs. But this works for me.

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afternoonsnoozebutton:

Let’s all just take a moment and appreciate the style with which Louis CK humps.

(venisso)

The show went on sale at noon on Saturday, December 10th. 12 hours later, we had over 50,000 purchases and had earned $250,000, breaking even on the cost of production and website. As of Today, we’ve sold over 110,000 copies for a total of over $500,000. Minus some money for PayPal charges etc, I have a profit around $200,000 (after taxes $75.58). This is less than I would have been paid by a large company to simply perform the show and let them sell it to you, but they would have charged you about $20 for the video. They would have given you an encrypted and regionally restricted video of limited value, and they would have owned your private information for their own use. They would have withheld international availability indefinitely. This way, you only paid $5, you can use the video any way you want, and you can watch it in Dublin, whatever the city is in Belgium, or Dubai. I got paid nice, and I still own the video (as do you). You never have to join anything, and you never have to hear from us again.

(via jane-ostentatious-deactivated20)

editing is part of the process. it’s how you form everything. In some ways not editing yourself would be like a sculptor dropping some clay off at a guys house and saying “Make a naked lady chasing a bull. and do it nice.

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somuchfunithurts:

synecdoche:

halffiction:

the entire note at the bottom of his ordering page. 

razorcake:

Louis C.K.’s gone DIY to distribute his latest stand up special.  you can afford $5, right? that’s like, the price of a sandwich. 

support excellent DIY comedy!

I may or may not have just cursed out some dude at Time Warner because they were supposed to fix my internet days ago and now I can’t even pay to watch this and IT’S IMPORTANT, OKAY?

NOW.

I’m so excited to watch this but what do I do if my download stalled halfway complete and has said “one hour remaining” for the last hour and 45 minutes? Is it cool to torrent if I’ve already paid the $5? ^^;;; Internet ethical dilemmaaaaaaaaa.

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yokellyyyyy:

thebrownpaperbag:

splitsider:

popculturebrain:

Loving Louie’s new ad campaign.

Perfect.

Ahahahaha Louis CK is soooo on point.

HERE IS HOW GREAT IT IS TO BE WHITE: I CAN GET IN A TIME MACHINE AND GO TO ANY TIME, AND IT’D BE FUCKING AWESOME WHEN I GET THERE. THAT IS EXCLUSIVELY A WHITE PRIVILEGE.

(via yeahiwasintheshit)

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Keanu Reeves finally appears in something that makes me respect him.

[Famous Atheists]