Deputy Editor at Upworthy. Currently of Baltimore, formerly of NYC and Pittsburgh. Nerd. Feminist. Comedy fan. TV enthusiast. Ally. Fangirl. Hoping to make the world a better place by blogging in my pajamas.

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In my spare time, I write things for
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Movies Watched in: 2012/2013/2014

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savethewales:

Half of the women I spoke to said , would he admit that’s he’s bit of a sexist, misogynistic — he sees women only in sexual terms?  (x)

This is it, this is how I’m going to explain privilege to the next one.

This is so eloquently put, I actually teared up a little by the end of it. (It’s been a long 4 days, y’all).

(Source: masterdefender)

russell brand masculinity privilege sexism misogyny racism
"If you were a computer-loving male child who took a lot of shit from your peers, I suspect you heard something similar from the adults in your life. Maybe it was ‘Sure, things are bad now, but when you’re a little bit older, women will LOVE guys like you!’ Or maybe it was ‘That kid who makes fun of you now will be working at a gas station when you run a big fancy computer company and marry a supermodel!’ If you were once young, nerdy and male, it is not unlikely that your future sense of self-worth was funded with a non-consensual IOU from the world’s women. It’s taken me a long time, but at this point I genuinely believe that much of this ‘GEEKS SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH’ rhetoric is little more than patriarchy’s bespectacled wingman. It excuses the pain that systems of power exert on children by promising little boys future dominion over little girls. It is deeply and massively fucked."

What (Else) Can Men Do? Grow The Fuck Up. | Medium (via shitrichcollegekidssay)

Is it any wonder that when those young geeks and nerds grow up, they don’t become an empathetic and enlightened new breed of men, but rather, even worse incarnations of those who bullied them?

Just go check out the tech, comic book, and video game industries.

(via dating-as-an-asianguy)

The intention behind those messages—that intelligence and hard work are valued more by your peers as adults than as children, that you can grow out of your awkwardness and into a person people love, that the meanness displayed by bullies gets old and that kindness becomes valued (and if these kids are being told this at the same age I was, it’s before bitterness sets in and the kindness turns sour and fake and becomes a tool, at the time when we should be learning that we aren’t entitled to others’ affection so that our gap in understanding doesn’t turn toxic as it inevitably does if we aren’t set right)—is good, but it needs to be communicated in a way where that comes through instead of the message, “You are better than everyone around you and you will get what you deserve, including being granted a woman who fits into your adolescent power fantasy.”

We should be telling these boys, “If you build on what’s good about you and try not to get bitter, as you get older, you’ll be more likely to find people who appreciate what you have to offer,” not, “You are entitled to money, power, and sex, and you will get those things by virtue of your personal brand of greatness.”

(via jean-luc-gohard)

Damn, Stevie just fuckin nailed it.

(via fire-dad)

rape culture misogyny masculinity
"

We have allowed ourselves to believe, for a long time, that the misogynist subcultures flourishing on- and offline in the past half-decade, the vengeful sexism seeding in resentment in a time of rage and austerity, is best ignored. We have allowed ourselves to believe that those fetid currents aren’t really real, that they don’t matter, that they have no relation to “real-world” violence. But if the Isla Vista massacre is the first confirmed incident of an incident of gross and bloody violence directly linked to the culture of ‘Men’s Rights’ activism and Pickup Artist (PUA) ideology, an ideology that preys on lost, angry men, then it cannot be ignored or dismissed any more.

We like to think that violent misogyny - not sexism, but misogyny, woman-hatred as ideology and practice, weaponised contempt for one half of the human race - isn’t something that really happens in the so-called West. No matter how many wives and girlfriends are murdered by their husbands, no matter how many rapists are let off because of their “promising careers”, violence against women is something that happens elsewhere, somewhere foreign, or historical, or both. So anxious are we to retain this convenient delusion that any person, particularly any female person, who attempts to raise a counter argument can expect to be harassed and shouted down.

"
misogyny MRAs violence against women sexism

gynocraticgrrl:

"I don’t believe in a dispassionate and academic way of thinking about domestic violence. Now I’ve done some academic writing and I believe in that when it’s the right place for it. What I’m saying is, I don’t believe in that mentality."

Lundy Bancroft on Domestic Violence in Popular Culture, Part 2.

Lundy has twenty years of experience specializing in interventions for abusive men and their families. He has also authored many other book chapters and scholarly articles. Lundy is a former Co-Director of Emerge, the nation’s first counseling program for men who batter. He has worked with over a thousand abusers directly as an intervention counselor, and has served as clinical supervisor on another thousand cases. He has also served extensively as a custody evaluator, child abuse investigator, and expert witness in domestic violence and child abuse cases. Lundy appears across the United States as a presenter for judges and other court personnel, child protective workers, therapists, law enforcement officials, and other audiences.

Lundy Bancroft is an author, workshop leader, and consultant on domestic abuse and child maltreatment. His work focuses on three areas: 1) Training professionals on best practices for intervening with male perpetrators of violence against women, toward the goal of promoting accountability and requiring change, 2) Training professionals on the dynamics of emotional injury and recovery in children who are exposed to a man who abuses their mother, to prepare participants to offer the most effective and safe assistance possible to children and their mothers, and 3) Supporting healing and empowerment for abused women, with an emphasis on advocating for the human rights of mothers and their children.

Lundy is the author of four books in the field, including

Lundy is available as a public speaker and trainer for professionals, and offers weekend retreats for women who have experienced abuse. - (x)

(Source: exgynocraticgrrl)

lundy bancroft violence against women misogyny sexism feminism
"We don’t know if Elliot Rodger was mentally ill. We don’t know if he was a “madman.” We do know that he was desperately lonely and unhappy, and that the Men’s Rights Movement convinced him that his loneliness and unhappiness was intentionally caused by women.
Because this is what the Men’s Rights Movement does: it spreads misogyny, it spreads violence, and most of all it spreads a sense of entitlement towards women’s bodies.
Pretending that this is the a rare act perpetrated by a “crazy” person is disingenuous and also does nothing to address the threat of violence that women face every day. We can’t just write this one off – we need to talk about all of the fucked up parts of our culture, especially the movements that teach men that they have the right to dominate and intimidate and violate women, that lead to this, and we need to change things. Because if we don’t, I guarantee that this will happen again. And again. And again."
MRAs violence against women hate crimes feminism misogyny

A sixteen year old girl is dead

seriouslyamerica:

Because she had the audacity to refuse an invitation to prom. Maren Sanchez is dead, murdered by a sixteen year old classmate who flew into a rage when Sanchez declined to be his date.

Maren Sanchez is dead, and multiple media outlets have the goddamn audacity to…

misogyny sexism patriarchy
"There’s a big difference, however, between hating a dominant group in an oppressive system like patriarchy and hating the individuals who belong to it. Angela Davis once said that as an African American she often feels hatred for white people, but her feelings for particular white people depend on the individual. She hates white people’s collective position of dominance in a racially oppressive society, she hates the privilege they enjoy at her expense, and she hates the racist culture that whites take for granted as unremarkable while she must struggle with the oppression it creates in everyday life. But Davis also knows that while individual whites can never be free of racism, they can participate in racist systems in many different ways, which include joining people of color in the fight for racial justice. The same can be said of men and women.

The distinction between groups and individuals, however, is subtle and easy to lose sight of when you’re up to your ears in an oppressive system. Of course women are going to feel and express anger, resentment, and even hatred toward individual men who may not have it coming in just that way or to that degree or at that moment. Of course men are sometimes going to get their feelings hurt or be called on to take responsibility for themselves in ways they may not be used to. When I heard Davis talk about hating white people, and when I’ve heard women talk about hating men, I’ve had to get clear in my own mind about how these words refer to me and how they don’t, and it often takes some effort to get there. And as a white male who benefits from both male and white privilege, I’ve also had to see that it’s up to me-and not to women or people of color-to distinguish one from the other. Too often men react to women’s anger by calling on women to take care of them, and in this way recreate the male-centered principle of the very gender order that women, feminist and otherwise, are angry about."
Allan G. Johnson, The Gender Knot (via wretchedoftheearth)
sexism racism misogyny feminism
khealywu:

feministframeworks:

the-uncensored-she:

takealookatyourlife:

“kill myself” was the most common answer when they contemplated the possibility of life as a girl

Yeah, tell me again how misogyny “isn’t real” and men and boys actually “love”, “like” and “respect the female sex”? This is how deep misogynistic propaganda runs in this world. Men and boys are so viscerally contemptuous of anything or anyone who/that is female or feminine, or perceived to be female or feminine, that they would rather commit suicide than to be associated with— or become a member of— the female sex. As Germaine Greer said, “women have no idea how much men hate them.”

they would rather die then be treated how they treat us

I am genuinely horrified and terrified by this, but I also feel super bad that little boy kids are raised in this toxic fucking environment. Being a girl kid has some super great aspects, and it’s… awful that they’d rather DIE than experience it.

:(

khealywu:

feministframeworks:

the-uncensored-she:

takealookatyourlife:

“kill myself” was the most common answer when they contemplated the possibility of life as a girl

Yeah, tell me again how misogyny “isn’t real” and men and boys actually “love”, “like” and “respect the female sex”? This is how deep misogynistic propaganda runs in this world. Men and boys are so viscerally contemptuous of anything or anyone who/that is female or feminine, or perceived to be female or feminine, that they would rather commit suicide than to be associated with— or become a member of— the female sex. As Germaine Greer said, “women have no idea how much men hate them.”

they would rather die then be treated how they treat us

I am genuinely horrified and terrified by this, but I also feel super bad that little boy kids are raised in this toxic fucking environment. Being a girl kid has some super great aspects, and it’s… awful that they’d rather DIE than experience it.

:(

(Source: thevinckanator)

sad gender roles misogyny sexism
"We want to believe that the Internet is different from “real life,” that “virtual reality” is a separate sphere from reality-reality. But increasingly, virtual space is just as “real” as life off of the computer. We talk to our closest friends all day long on G-Chat. We engage with political allies and enemies on Twitter and in blog comment sections. We email our moms and our boyfriends. We like photos of our cousin’s cute baby on Facebook. And if we’re writers, we research, publish and promote our work online. My office is a corner of my apartment, and my laptop is my portal into my professional world. There’s nothing “virtual” about it."
harassment sexism misogyny feminism internet
"

Two weeks ago a man in France was arrested for raping his daughter. She’d gone to her school counselor and then the police, but they needed “hard evidence.” So, she videotaped her next assault. Her father was eventually arrested. His attorney explained, “There was a period when he was unemployed and in the middle of a divorce. He insists that these acts did not stretch back further than three or four months. His daughter says longer. But everyone should be very careful in what they say.” Because, really, even despite her seeking help, her testimony, her bravery in setting up a webcam to film her father raping her, you really can’t believe what the girl says, can you?

Everyone “knows” this. Even children.

Three years ago, in fly-on-the-wall fashion of parent drivers everywhere, I listened while a 14-year-old girl in the back seat of my car described how angry she was that her parents had stopped allowing her to walk home alone just because a girl in her neighborhood “claimed she was raped.” When I asked her if there was any reason to think the girl’s story was not true, she said, “Girls lie about rape all the time.” She didn’t know the person, she just assumed she was lying…

No one says, “You can’t trust women,” but distrust them we do. College students surveyed revealed that they think up to 50% of their female peers lie when they accuse someone of rape, despite wide-scale evidence and multi-country studies that show the incident of false rape reports to be in the 2%-8% range, pretty much the same as false claims for other crimes. As late as 2003, people jokingly (wink, wink) referred to Philadelphia’s sex crimes unit as “the lying bitch unit.” If an 11-year-old girl told an adult that her father took out a Craigslist ad to find someone to beat and rape her while he watched, as recently actually occurred, what do you think the response would be? Would she need to provide a videotape after the fact?

It goes way beyond sexual assault as well. That’s just the most likely and obvious demonstration of “women are born to lie” myths. Women’s credibility is questioned in the workplace, in courts, by law enforcement, in doctors’ offices, and in our political system. People don’t trust women to be bosses, or pilots, or employees. Pakistan’s controversial Hudood Ordinance still requires a female rape victim to procure four male witnesses to her rape or risk prosecution for adultery. In August, a survey of managers in the United States revealed that they overwhelmingly distrust women who request flextime. It’s notable, of course, that women are trusted to be mothers—the largest pool of undervalued, unpaid, economically crucial labor.

"
rape culture soraya chemaly women sexism misogyny queue
"

Men want what they want.

So much of our culture caters to giving men what they want. A high school student invites model Kate Upton to attend his prom, and he’s congratulated for his audacity. A male fan at a Beyoncé concert reaches up to the stage to slap her ass because her ass is there, her ass is magnificent, and he wants to feel it. The science fiction fandom community is once again having a heated discussion, across the Internet, about the ongoing problem of sexual harassment at conventions — countless women are telling all manner of stories about how, without their consent, they are groped, ogled, lured into hotel rooms under false pretenses, physically lifted off the ground, and more.

But men want what they want. We should all lighten up.

It’s hard not to feel humorless as a woman and a feminist, to recognize misogyny in so many forms, some great and some small, and know you’re not imagining things. It’s hard to be told to lighten up because if you lighten up any more, you’re going to float the fuck away. The problem is not that one of these things is happening, it’s that they are all happening, concurrently and constantly.

These are just songs. They are just jokes. They are just movies. It’s just a hug. They’re just breasts. Smile, you’re beautiful. Can’t a man pay you a compliment? In truth, this is all a symptom of a much more virulent cultural sickness — one where women exist to satisfy the whims of men, one where a woman’s worth is consistently diminished or entirely ignored.

"
sexism misogyny pop culture feminism
"Some men get a sick pleasure out of stripping away the “illusion” that women are equal and violently showing them exactly how inferior they are. The online troll population has these kinds of characters in it, but the dominant class is men who don’t get the level of sexual attention they feel entitled to from women, and therefore have concocted elaborate, dogged theories about how women are broken, because they cannot ever allow that women have a right not to like them personally. (Or that if they started acting like decent people, maybe they would actually be more likeable.) All misogynists get upset when women are given attention for their talent or skills; it violates their core belief that women are here to serve. This is why writing on the internet while female means getting everything from laughably delusional men pretending to “critique” your writing while barely concealing their rage to rape and death threats. Particularly if your writing is not upholding the opinion that women are inferior servant class."
misogyny sexism mras queue

Stuff I learn. Shared with you.: Breaking Bad Ended My Relationship And I Couldn’t Be More Grateful

angieup:

image

I hemmed and hawed over publishing this publicly because it makes me look dumb. I know co workers will see it, associates will see it, people who look up to me as a survivor of abuse will see it, and I will look Dumb. But I think that’s okay. I was being pretty dumb and I think a lot of…

One of my co-workers wrote this. You absolutely must read it.

Breaking Bad spoilers within. Trigger warning for abuse. 

breaking bad abusive relationships skyler white walter white misogyny queue
"Too many nerds have basically internalised the stereotype of themselves as ugly, friendless losers and decided that anyone who doesn’t fit that stereotype – particularly women – is a “fake geek”, taking advantage of the fact that being a geek is now “cool”."
geeks geek girls alex hern misogyny feminism queue